pointblanksoul

Lots of studying going on, I have a history test on Wednesday and my teacher is the type of history teacher who is a stickler for names and dates. Not to mention a stickler for spelling and grammar, so I'm sure the test is going to be a lot harder than it need be.

I mean personally I would think as long as a person shows they know what's going on (I'm even okay with wanting dates and names, I mean it's not hard to remember) but docking points because someone spells Mesopotamia wrong during a timed essay is a bit much, I think.

In my features writing class we are going to write articles as if we were working on a new local magazine. We're pretending it's the Feb issue so it's devoted to love and valentines stuff. I have been assigned to write a short feature on an event going on that would be nice for couples to go to, or something nice to meet someone, anything love related. I may have to stretch it a bit since I can't find anything valentines related in September. I also personally have a pretty shotty night life so I'll have to enlist the help of some buds for some ideas.

Otherwise everything has been so-so. Nothing grand, nothing terrible, just a lot of average stuff.

Well the first two weeks of school for me are in the books, and so far this year it's been...interesting. At this point in anyone's school career you're very used to the routine, so there is no real distaste for the act of going to school.

I have however, had longer bouts of procrastination that  I really should try to get over. For my journalism class I am required to keep a journal of sorts. Not really about feelings but stuff I've done. More like an itenerary with notes. I'm supposed to keep that all semester, and I've yet to start, so I'll have to make up two weeks of stuff. What I plan on doing until I do a proper write up is just post some notes here on what has occurred. I think my teacher will be sorely disappointed in the fact that I lead a very boring life. Well at least on a day to day basis.

joybug246 has just started school, and for a few days won't have any internet to speak of. With both her and Trey offline I realize how much of my internet talking was tied up in the both of them. Luckily now I have a few more people than I used to, so my inordinate amount of time spent on the computer is usually with some form of companionship.

Though really it's probably time for me to cull some names from my buddy lists. It's always a a bummer when you look at how many people are on there and how few of them you actually talk to. At least that's how my lists always turn out, over the years I build up a stable of people and talk to like 10% of the total list. Then there's people like modestmouse425 who I do enjoy speaking to, but who is so rarely online. Heck I get the feeling she no longer likes talking to me since she never returns IMs. Who knows. (I'm not a loser, honest!)

Ugh I had a huuuuuuuuuge dinner for labor day, and it's not sitting as well as I would like. My stomach has turned on me over the years and I'm having much more trouble than I used to.

I've got a test in calculus this wednesday, and I really outta start studying for it. It's been a lot of time since I've done math, so a lot of this first two weeks has been brushing back up, but I need to be brushed up by the test.

( Read more... )

Ugh, I've been so stressed out lately. Well, for a good while really. I finished this semester of classes, no big woes there (All A's and B's, half and half, so I'm happy.) It just seems that everything I've been doing these last few months has been in the context of my entire future. Like all the stuff I do now has some monumental importance, and it just seems to have taken on a life of it's own (or taken mine, whichever came first). I don't know, I think I'm pushing on myself levels of pressure that really aren't there, but I can't seem to shake it.

Everything seems to be going by so fast, and while everything seemingly is going good, I feel like crap during the whole process. So I try to slow down, enjoy the moment, and usually it's then that I mess up. This time I missed the deadline to apply to the school that would have been my first choice. Mostly because I was putting it off, and was sure the date was a month later than what it was. (I had taken note of it, but all the other schools to which I'm also trying to transfer were all a month later in their deadlines.) So I thought it was cool to stop and take a breather, when it wasn't, and now there's all that fun of kicking yourself. I'm lazy at heart, but I try to be systematically lazy.

I wish I could be more ho-hum about it all, like my friend joybug246. She's not ho-hum in the sense that she doesn't care, but more in the "if it doesn't work this way, then I'll just get cracking on plan B" and there doesn't seem to be any level of pressure or panic. That's where I wish I was right now. I mean I surely won't die if this whole school process takes me a year or two more than I thought previously, and it's not like I'm doing poorly in the classes that I'm in, in my smaller school, it's just...aggravating, and it mounts up.

With classes over and me taking the summer off, I am hopeful that I can pull in the reigns a bit, and enjoy the here and now for at least a little while, without worrying about the rest of my life every other moment.

[Insert Obligatory "Wow long time since last post" paragraph here. (Or in this case the obligatory obligatory long time since last post almost witty note)]

School is drawing closer and closer to a close. A few more weeks at best, and I am rather confident in my position in all my classes. I only have one big paper left to write. (Well, I have two, but only one is a research paper, the other is creative writing, which while potentially hard, is much less tedious.) My teachers collectively are rather odd this semester. From my creative writing teacher who abhors all things genre fiction (but will tell you in no uncertain terms that's the easiest way to get published) and speaks a lot of drinking gin, to my newswriting teacher who announced one class that he is a recovering alcoholic. Commendable, yes, and I'm not saying anything bad about him as a person, but it does shelve you into my "odd" folder of teachers. I have another teacher who is teaching his course for the first time. Very nice guy, seems still rather new to teaching. Making a lot of the errors you see in new teachers, including thinking the students will help him out when it comes to work. Never ask the class if for when you assigned something. Some classes will be forthcoming, usually some girl will answer truthfully, but many classes take no shame in pushing the due date of some large paper back a week.

On the school front it's just been mostly boring, I'm going to make good grades, and can say that I learned a little this semester. Some of the classes are just so easy it's hard to really put forth a whole lot of effort when a little is getting me nearly perfect scores. The only class I've having trouble with would be Spanish (and I still am looking to make a B in that class, it's just not coming as easy) and that makes me enjoy it more than the other classes. The newswriting class is difficult, but not because of the subject matter, the course teacher just loves taking off points. I know it sounds like whining, but something like a misplaced comma can net you a loss of 10 points. I've seen papers where people lost more points than the question was worth. I made a perfect score on the mid-term, and I'm confident I can do well on the final, so I think I'll be in the high B range depending on how he is towards the end. (He has seemingly become somewhat remorseful in his grading, because I think he realized it was being rather harsh. I am all in favor as a journalism major for the teacher circling and taking off for misplaced commas and anything of the like, I'm not advocating an easy pass, but there's sometimes a difference in teaching a concept and allowing a person to make mistakes as they get a handle on it, and just crushing them outright with all the info in the beginning. He had a class full of people who had never written in AP style before, so giving a few assignments to bone up prior to taking off because someone wrote "Pheonix, Arizona" instead of leaving off Arizona (since Pheonix is one of...six, if I recall correctly, cities that does not need the state to follow it in AP style because it is assumed that if Pheonix appeared in an article it would be Phoenix Arizona.)

The reason I'm up now is because I've been rather sick this weekend. Taking meds has made me rather sleepy, and I went to bed last night at 8PM. Which I was well aware was not the brightest of ideas, but I felt too bad to care. I'm feeling much better now, and luckily my first class today isn't until 5:30PM so I can certainly get my sleep in, I'll just set my alarm for noon and that'll still give me time to study for my spanish quiz.

Mike, a friend of mine since middle school, came back into town a few days ago. He still hopes I get out there to school soon (I'm trying to transfer in) with the added hope we can be roomies some day. I hope it works out, I'm not holding my breath for this semester, but I shall try again in the fall. (My application was being held due to the number of hours I needed to apply not being fulfilled until after this semester, so when my grades come back then they'll consider me, but until then they won't, which really hurts since transfers are considered last and on the basis of how much room they have.) Shooting for the fall, may sit the summer out and work and try to save up some money. I'm not quite broke, but still I'd like to cut down on how much money my folks dish out for my education, even if over the years I can only put a dent in it.

I am planning on using some of my moola to buy myself an onyx DS and the new pokemon. Yes, I'm 21 and I play pokemon. My brother is getting the other version and we get rather competitive about it. We only played the originals, the first ones for GBA and now it will be this one. In the originals my team owned him, easy. In the more recent game his team beat mine down pretty bad, so I'm hoping for a reversal of fortune with the next outing. Luckily my brother has a thing for water starters, and I've always gone plant. I don't know why, don't ask.


Well I'm starting to feel sleepy again, so I probably should jump on the opportunity to catch some more Z's.

Well everything went fine from last post, and I find again that I sit with a lot of work that needs to get done, though I suppose that's how it always works eh?

Tomorrow is President's day, so I'm off of work (I work in a bank), I still have school however. Though getting off from work will give me extra time to do the work that's due tuesday, which is good. I'm not sweating it too much, I'm rather laid back that way. Though sometimes that gets me in trouble, since sometimes a since of urgency helps you focus. Anyhow I always manage to get it done, so while the formula could certainly be better, it's working.

Still sleepy most of the time, I need to start getting more sleep. Of course none of that meets the current formula.

Spanish test tomorrow, wish me luck. Got a 79 on the first test, it was a lot harder than I had expected. While I'm rather good at most subjects, foreign language has always been something of a sticking point. Luckily a 79 is a grade that one can recover from, I just need to to better on this upcoming test. I've been studying, but I'm still not sure how much of this is sticking, I'll spend all of tomorrow prior to the test doing flash cards and such.

My brother is off from school, and he's rather good at this whole spanish thing, so I'll have him help me study.

Sadly not to much else of note has happened, but hey, at least it wasn't a huge layoff between posts for once.

Tonight, in a word, will suck.

No, it won't suck as much as a night last year, but that was then. Then was a marathon session, writing a thirty-six page paper that I should have have been completing over the semester in one night. I still brag about pulling off such a feat, no matter how sick the all nighter made me. (The paper itself was graded in two parts, I got a 94 and a 96.) I also had a speech that day that day, but now I digress into self congratulation. (Which may be, to some surprise, something I'm not too good at. My pessimism is usually the flavor of the day.)

Anyhow, tonight I am tasked with writing a poetic narrative. Telling a story in poem form, and well, me and poems share this certain hatred of one another. I cannot say I am not a fan of a poem every once and awhile, but I can say, with the certainty that one gets from feeling such surge of hatred at the very mention of the activity, that I hate writing them.

To digress again, I've only ever written one poem of my own volition before. Usually it is something that is forced upon me by some school assignment, but it was a few years back that I wrote a shoddily rimmed poem, in an e-mail...to a girl. Yes, with shame I can say I was coerced into writing a poem for a girl that I was rather infatuated with at the time. Luckily the poem is gone, never to be seen again. Needless to say poems for girls runs into that area of mushiness that makes my testosterone boil and it's all pretty uncomfortable.

But, back to the topic at hand. I have to write about a family "secret" or a special event that is of some great importance. I would have had some masterpiece set up by now, no doubt, but my procrastination has put some things off. Not to mention a lot of stuff came out of left field this weekend to prevent me from doing anything.

Okay, to explain, my schedule has me on my off days from school on friday, saturday, and sunday. (I still go to work my job on friday, and sometimes saturday, but it's a night thing, so I have my days.) I decided that I would not do anything on Friday, and just chillax. Mission accomplished, as I was very unproductive.

However come Saturday, I end up spending the night, and I mean all night, sitting the the ER room with my mother. You see, my father had fallen on some waxed floors and struck his head. Being on blood thinners like he is, there was a lot of blood, not to mention he blew a vessel in his eye and the whole thing looked rather...gross. Soooo we took him to the ER, and he got staples. He'll be fine, just needs to take it easy.

While I'm at the ER I get a call from my younger brother, he just wants to really to me that the computer desk that this computer from which I type used to sit had well...exploded. I came home around 2AM to find that indeed, the old computer table had literally come apart from every possible joint it could, the screws litterally ripping chunks out of the boards as it became a pile of junk. So I spent a few hours just clearing the expensive computery stuff out from the rubble.

Sunday I spent the day setting the computer back up (I'd need the printer for my paper anyway) and had to bring my brother's desk in here to serve as a replacement computer table. (He was using a computer table as a desk, so luckily we had an extra one sitting around.

So, computer's up, mess is still not cleared, but it's time to work on my paper right?

Not so fast.

I hear what sounds like it is rain, which is very odd, because well...it wasn't raining. Looking outside I see drops, and decide to take a step outside to see what was going on. There it was, water dripping out of part of the house, and I went upstairs to see if anything up there looked particularly flooded. As I neared the kitchen I could hear a sound not unlike that of a soda can when you first open it, that sorta fizzling noise. Only, it was coming from the sink, and wouldn't stop.

After looking for awhile, I realized that what I was hearing was the sound of water rushing through a break in the pipe. Yes, fun stuff let me tell you. I ran downstairs and turned off the water supply to the second floor. (Which was an adventure as I had never done it before.) Anyhow, long story short, have to fix that.

So today, I wake up, and have gotten the work for today out of the way, which leaves that damndable poetic nonfiction paper to be written for tomorrow.

Sadly, my classes today are late, and after work I won't be getting home to around 10PM. My first class tomorrow? 9:30AM. Oh, did I mention I commute? I leave over an hour earlier than that, so I have to wake up even earlier to be ready. Awesome stuff I know.

Anyhow hopefully I can be struck by some extreme level of inspiration by the time I get home and get to writing. I'll be happy if I can go to sleep by 4AM. I know it's not a long thing to write, but since my teacher gave us no more direction on poetic structure than "it has a rythym to it" I'll surely be spending an hour or two just getting a handle on the format.

I realize it's supposed to be nonfiction, but in order to keep my sanity I may be embellishing more than what I would have done originally. (No, I won't be adding ninjas.)

Well I suppose I'll start with the obligatory "it's been awhile since I last posted" intro, explaining in a sort of noncommittal way that all the stuff missed since the last post have been both AWESOME, and HORRIBLE.

Let's just say some bad stuff went down, that I'd rather not get into, and some relatively good stuff went down that I'm likewise too lazy to go into. (Go me right?)

Bored at the moment, and messing around with some of the new things livejournal affords. School has gone well, grades are good for the most part. (Chemistry doesn't like me all that much.) I could be studying more, but I've got an A in most my classes and a B in the rest so I'm not dying over it.

Working on getting back into the drivers seat as far as it comes to finding motivation to further my more hobbyist pursuits. I haven't really drawn outside of class, or written in awhile, and because of my schedule I just haven't had the "oomph" necessary to get me going for anything approaching regularity. (It's always bad when you tell someone how many classes your taking and they gawk and you and say "Good luck"). It's not hard just tiring, I always say my problem is I line up too much work and fail to use my time wisely. So I tend to find the handful of hours of free time I have, get spent doing not to much. Oh well, wish me luck in fighting that trend.

I'm ashamed of myself, I used to be tons more long winded than this.

Quick jot list like update for the time missed since last post:

1. Operation went smoothly, had my first IV put in, not as bad as I thought.
2. At first I thought operation didn't help, but after I healed up all the way, I feel much better, and haven't had puking problems.
3. My school schedule is beginning to catch up with me, how I have it I really get very little sleep Mon-Thur, and it makes me feel really burned out at the end of every week. I'm so tired now, but I already took a nap so I'm sorta stuck awake.
4. Working on a project that should hopefully be on the net soon.
5. No luck with girls yet.
6. Pretty sure I aced (like 100% aced) my science test, which is a good feeling.
7. joybug246 moved to go to college, so I haven't been able to talk to her as much. T_T
8. Meet a new bunch of guys that I hopefully can hang out with from time to time, all very friendly, despite one carries a gun. (He says he's a security guard, so I just didn't ask question, heh.)
9. That's all that comes to mind!

Well in the time since my last post I've had the fun of school trouble, not to mention my esophagus is broken. I was going to be all dramatic and start the post off with a picture of the wristband I got at the hospital, but then remembered I'm too lazy to do that, lol.

Anyhow, I have had problems eating for years now, mostly I swallow something and it sort of, gets stuck in the bottom of my esophagus and the pain is immense. (I'd rather take a kick to the nuts if that's any indication.) If I can wait it out, sometimes the pain subsides, but more often than not I have to induce vomiting to feel any relief. Which, as one could imagine is pretty cumbersome a trait to have to deal with every time you eat. It really kept me from eating at all whenever I went out to friends houses, since the last thing I want to do is either puke on something of theirs (by not knowing where the bathroom is) and I hate the idea of puking in someone elses toilet, since I just see it as so dirty that I don't want to impose that on anyone.

( Gross puking tips LJ cut for your own safety. )

So it used to be just a few foods I had trouble with, which caused me initially to think it was acid-reflux. Tailoring my diet to fit that diagnoses as well as taking meds for that proved ineffective, which was disappointing, to say the least. I began to think it could be stress related (and I still believe that it is somewhat influenced by the high levels of stress I have had this year as opposed to most), but other than trying to minimize on stress, there wasn't much I could do. After awhile, it grew to be a problem with all foods, regardless of size, spice, ingredients, etc. Also the frequency grew from every once and awhile to having to endure the pain to varying gut wrenching degrees almost daily.

The bad thing about it is when it begins, the pain is sooooooo bad, that I block everything else out. I just sit there staring off into nothing, concentrating on trying to fight through the feeling rather than run to the bathroom and vomiting. This sometimes causes confusion from friends since it just looks like I'm elsewhere, and they'll talk to me, and I won't respond. Worst times is when they shift me, to get my attention. They are all now aware of my problems, but sometimes they still forget, and shaking me during that time, is not a good thing. It can make it go from bad to worse, though on rare occasions it helps. (You can tell if I'm really, really, in pain if I start shifting around, since then I'm just trying to find someway to squeeze whatever it is throw my esophagus.)

( More gross info that you can feel quite okay with not reading...heh. )

So anyhow, with the problems mounting and becoming worse I decided that I'd have to go see the doctor about it. I know, I know, while it was happening for years and getting worse I should have went, but I was always at the doctor when I was younger for a whole host of problems (mostly asthma and allergies) and so I sort, I dunno, was feeling very good that I didn't need to be in there as often as I used to be. The last thing I needed was another reason why I'd be in and out of there. So I go to my doctor, and I knew it may be something bad when he started checking me for exploded organs, heh. Luckily those were all fine, and after I told him all my symptoms and that's when he said he didn't think it was acid-reflux. (Which I really hoped it was, so I could just take medicine. Since really, the whole time I had in the back of my mind the thought of them putting a scope down my throat, which was the one thing I really didn't want to happen if I could avoid it.) So he refers me to a radiologist, for an upper GI, where I'd drink Barium Sulfate which would allow them to take x-rays of my stomach and esophagus and chart how fluid is going through them.

Going there was easy, I was a little late, but it didn't matter as I had to wait an hour anyhows. I got lead to a back room with huge machines everywhere. They explained how it was going to work, I had to step onto the x-ray machine. It was vertical, about three feet wide, and six feet tall. It had a little ledge for me to stand on. There they took preliminary x-rays of my stomach, with a machine that they pulled down in front of me. Then I had to drink some of the barium (which tastes exactly like a very thick maalox) for some of the pictures of what is happening in there. Then they tell me that they need to get a picture of me horizontal, as to see what happens when there isn't gravity helping my esophagus. I thought they were going to have me hop down and some other machine would take pictures of me. However they told me to turn around, facing the vertical wall I had been standing against, then said to lean into it, and hit a button and the whole thing slowly turned horizontal with me on it. I swear, it's a very odd feeling to go slowly from standing to horizontal like that, you feel like you're falling when you aren't. There I had to take more poses, drink copious amounts of barium sulfate (which is toxic, but so insoluble that the chances of your body breaking down enough to kill you is quite remote) oh and they gave me this thing that fizzed. It was a powder that they added something to, this was to fill my stomach with gas. The doctor instructed me not to burp, this would help them get better pictures. It was bizarre feeling as it fills you to the point you can feel the pressure.

Anyhow, they took the x-rays and said they'd call my doctor when they had the results. A few days later I get a call, and as it turns out, my esophagus narrows before getting to my stomach. So much so that food sometimes gets caught, causing the extreme pain I feel.

So what's next? You guessed it, go to gastro and get a scope down my throat, something I tried to avoid the whole time, but if it needs to be done it needs to be done. I'll let them figure out how to get around my insane gag reflex. That was scheduled for tuesday, but my family wanted to go to a family reunion so I rescheduled it to the 8th. (They since decided not to go to the family reunion, awesome.)

Anyhow, hopefully when they look they find it is not too severe a case. Usually they can just dilate the esophagus (a process I think would be all sorts of uncomfortable for awhile) but that's not really a permanent fix. They'd have to do it every once and awhile. There is also the possibility that they have to surgically do something, depending on how bad the narrowing is. Hopefully that's not the case, but that combined with school problems (which I'll get into next time, and no, my grades are good!) have been very stressful and it's begun to consume almost all of my time in pursuits about one or the other.

In the meantime, I'll try not to choke to death before I get it fixed, lol.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, took my first swimming lesson. (I can't swim, black stereotypes abounds. I had already signed up for this, so I refused to let all the other stuff get in the way of the only non-distressing thing I had lined up.) It was really fun, and relaxing, I'm glad I decided to do it, my brother is doing it two. Luckily, as it's an adult class, him and I are the two youngest in there, rather than having to worry about being a twenty year old with a bunch of nine year olds learning.

Anyhow that's what I've been up to lately, and I'll keep everyone updated as to what happens after the gastro takes a look. The school thing hopefully I can work out this week. (Some snaffu on their part, I am assuming.)

*Deep Breath*

Alternate Title:
Fun stuff going on, some trouble for a friend, and the unforeseen possibilities.

I have not been as diligent in updating this as I sometimes have been able in years past on different journals. So, here's a good faith update that hopefully will start a trend.

This month so far has seen the culmination of a number of opportunities, and not wanting to jinx myself, I shall keep my fingers crossed that things work out in my favor. If everything goes to plan, be very prepared to hear me blather on about it at length. I have a pension for rambling and being long winded, so it should be somewhat entertaining as a test of just how off topic one can get, while staying coherent.

Anyhow, I have formulated a short term plan of what I am trying to do throughout the end of this year and into the next. If at all possible, I am going to try my best to transfer to a bigger school come spring semester, for varied reasons really. One is the level of education, I'm at a smaller school at the moment, and the level of education I can get here is limited as opposed to what it out there, and I want to try to make the leap as soon as possible in an effort to hopefully lessen any amount of repeating that happens if stuff doesn't transfer perfectly. To this end I shall be going down to my school on wednesday to speak with my counselor, a woman with whom I share very little affection. She is a very hard person to read, and often comes off as more hostile than pleasant regardless of the situation. Too much time around her does cause mild irritation due to having to withstand such long amounts of what seemingly amounts to a passive aggressive hissy fit. The reason that I shall go to her, is because she is my counselor, and I need her for her knowledge, not her personality.

Also beyond the educational aspects of why I would like to make the leap, there are the social aspects. Currently, because of where I attend I am living at home, which doesn't bother me too much, but I'd like to get out and spend my college years out of the house, especially considering that I have a place to go if I can make it in time for spring semester. (Basically a few friends have offered, so I could figure out a way to stay out of the dorms, but still live away from home.) For my sanity, the more stable social life it would afford me would be very much appreciated. I would be lying to say this is not one major factor of the want to change.

However it happens, I also plan on changing major when I do change schools. Fine Arts is nice, but I find that in art dealings a degree often isn't a part of the contention, if they like you're work, they'll work with you. So, while I still plan on taking art classes, I shall major in something else, something that can benefit me more. Thinking about it at length I have yet to be able to discern exactly what I would like to get into, but considering how this will probably go down, I shall most likely have a year or so to decide.

A very good friend of mine however, has not such luck, and currently having some...difficulty, with his school situation. The position he is in is rather precarious, and the advice I've offered has only served to depress I'm afraid. Today I asked him had he made any progress on just trying to get his mind together about what he wants to do. I said this more as a segue way to another question. I was going to ask him if he wanted to come with me down to the school on Wednesday, to talk to a counselor. While his parents, and I may have advice on what he should try, a counselor will be much more in the know about programs, and the like, and will probably be able to give him much more information than any of us could. However, the conversation did not get that far, as asking him served to rekindle a frustration that is surely appreciated on my part. He left before replying, signed back on for a moment to send me a message, and then signed off before I could respond. I felt bad for making him feel bad, and I will try to call him sometime tomorrow to ask him if he wants to accompany me on tuesday, without resorting to any segue ways. (His car no longer works, so since I was going I thought the timing may work for both of us.)

It's a lot to wrap your mind around, and I wish him the best, as it's surely not a position I'd wish any person to be put into. Just can't help but worry about him sometimes, but I guess that's what happens when a friend is in trouble, especially considering I am not in a position where I can offer him anymore help than just being friendly.

I feel somewhat better to have a plan going into the fall semester, though I do fear come wednesday the witch of a counselor will tell me that what I'm attempting is impossible. (It's hard to tell if she just doesn't like me, or everyone in general.) They say you do not need an appointment, so I'm just going to go around noon, and hope she's not on lunch break. (If so, there is one other counselor who did teach me in a class I did well in, and who I shall probably still talk to, since I actually rather like him.) I need 30 transferable hours, and I am unsure how many I currently have. If I need somewhere south of 20 (which is the high estimate, as I'm sure I need much less) than I'll try to tackle it and get my life moving in the direction I want.

Oh, also I inadvertently saw a friends boobs. It was cool. The end. (I swear I wasn't going for it! I turned away after I noticed, and she did not realize she was showing so much. I felt compelled to tell her, but she had reposition herself and solved the problem before I got the nerve.) This retelling of the event concludes the young guy portion of the post, and I apologize to all involved.

Everything else is looking good, I'm excited to get everything going, and to see where it takes me.

Wish me luck! I'd knock on wood, but my computer desk is glass.

Well to start, the up, the aforementioned ranbat went very smoothly. It was fun, and I got to meet new people and have some good games, I was surprised really at how smooth it went when it started up. Usually trying to get a lot of young people to do anything in an orderly manner is troublesome, or to keep anyone interested in doing the same thing for more than an hour. Luckily we had a lot of fun, I got my ass kicked in smash, and kicked some asses in SF3 and CvS2, so it's all good.

No girls, haha, but this is the 4th of these types of get togethers I've put together and in all four events we only ever had one girl. I know there are girls that play fighters out there somewhere!!! I just have yet to ever meet, or see any.

The job search has been stale, just so densely packed area with all the college kids out (including me) all of the jobs are being rather highly contested, not to mention I could have been a bit more...self-motivated, I really need to get out there a lot more. No word on any of the apps I put in though.

I've been invited to something I can't talk about, just in case parties involved see this entry, heh. Don't know if I'll make it yet, just may not be good timing.

Speaking of timing, recently my sleeping habits have been as bad as they have ever been. There were two different occasions last week where I went two days in a row without sleeping. (I'm talking over 40 hours of awake time, twice.) Which cannot be good for my health, I just lie there in bed, and the sleep just never comes. I do not want to resort to taking sleeping pills, but thankfully in recent days I've been sleeping, albeit at bad times. (Yes, I'm probably going to be up to 6 or 7AM since I went to bed at 4PM, I'll get this thing figured out, I promise!) This was exacerbated by an impromptu family trip my father just suddenly told me we are going on. Up to South Carolina for my cousins graduation, which is a five hour drive. Which of course doesn't ruin a shot and trying to fix your sleep, until you end up making the drive back at 5AM.

The actual event was okay, the normal family spiel. Oh look how old you've gotten, are you twins (me and my brother apparently look a lot like twins, so we get this question very often), got a girlfriend? That sort of stuff. It got exceedingly boring quickly, as really, on my father's side of the family there aren't many around my age, and the older people all have long established histories that I dare not trip into. (It's one of those silent but deadly past things, heh.) They aren't bad people or anything, I'm not implying that, it's just more complicated that I'd like to deal with. At least my brother was there so I had someone to hang out with.

Anyhow I hope to get back to updating this thing more regularly, possibly with some sketches or something next time.

Snowcrest out.

ARGH.



That will be all, thank you.

I don't know why I am, I just got this feeling I'm missing something and whatever it is it's important, I also have the sinking feeling going into finals. It's just sorta making me trudge through the day, and really I can't afford to do too much of that.

Also trying to spearhead a ranbat, which in short is a sort of small league for anything that you want to rank people in. (Ranbat meaning "Ranking Battle") I decided that I'm muuuuuuch too stressed, and gathering some pals who all like the same games would work wonders towards letting me release some of it. But you know, getting multiple people to even be on the same page about anything is just a job in and of itself. I used to organize small tournaments for friends, and junk, and just getting everyone to the place and everything set up was a lot of work. Once you get started it's okay, but the hassle is tremendous.

I mean one bud I try to get into the fold to discuss what times we should have this thing, just randomly decides he would like to pick a fight. Just because, about the name "Wii" with what he [i]knows[/i] he is talking to people who are die-hard Nintendo fans. If you want to argue about it fine, but don't complicate me getthing this together would ya? I only ask for a few minutes of your time.

Also I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm not going to do well on the finals. I have nothing to really suggest that, but I just have the feeling. I think I've just been so overwhelmed with everything in the last few weeks that now the wheels are coming off. I'm off to the library all day tomorrow and the day after I'm studying all day. Then I have my first test, the one I don't think will be too much of a problem, then my second test, which I also don't think will be bad, it's my Chem final that I'm dreading. I have a prof that loves trick questions, and makes them so confusing many times when we read back over them with him he has no idea what the question was asking. Maybe he'll curve the grades if it's not too good, but I won't be counting on that.

(It's better than my Political Science teacher last semester who would have questions with more than one right answer, but instead of having a "All of the above" type answer, he told us to pick the answer that was "more right".)

Also it's hard to get motivation going on side projects when there is all this pressing stuff, and I really want to get everything done and not explode. Not exploding is the key!

DEEP BREATH.

Well my first year is almost done, I've got three finals to freak out over that are on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. It would really help for me to do well in two of them, the other one I was practically exempt from doing, but it will help me pull up my grade a few more points.

Phew, lotsa work. I'm also working on my first comic, to prolly be published through comixpress. This comic is as much because I've got a story I think is cool, as it is for experience and to itch the need to create something. So I've been holding off on comixpress till I hear the buzz about 'em, because I hear they can be somewhat slow at times. (Though I'm not quite finished yeeet, so I can wait their responses.)

I've got a paper to write on Othello, and I need four sources of literary critique, so I'll be spending my Saturday at the library all day. Maybe I'll find myself some leisure books as well, it's about time for me to get a new book. (It's been a few months since I finished my last, just haven't had time to get back into it.) Let's just hope hunting down books doesn't become more of a hassle than it's worth, I didn't go the first day after the assignment to the college library and now all the books on the subject have been checked out by classmates, not to mention they all seemingly plan on keeping them passed their due dates until the final. Soooo, I'm hitting the largest public library in the area with hopes of finding some stuff. I looked through their catalog on the internet and found they did have one of the books in question, so I think it may work out. Wish me luck!

Right now I'm procrastinating and not doing much of anything, which I admit is something I do muuuch to often. I'm working on it, but every once and awhile I just throw up my hands sigh and procrastinate, hehe. My father actually bought me a tape cassette on procrastination a few years ago, and of course, I never listened to it. That's just a dumb product, you can't give a procrastinator a tape on procrastination, they'll never listen. What you have to do, is listen to the tape yourself, and ambush them with the info later.

I dunno, it's been a very odd week for me, from having some really great days, to some really crappy days, and now is just the general gloom of the middle.

Well my spring break is already over, it was the previous week, and I did a lot of nothing, but it's been awhile since my last post so I do have a good amount of stuff to catch people up on.

( EDIT!! Oh good lord, when I saw how long this was I haaaad to cut it )

I had another terrible day! I went to school (which is a forty minute drive) and upon arriving realized that I had left all my books at home. It suuuucked. Though luckily I really didn't have anything to turn in, but I've never done that before! I borrowed some paper from a friend, and I had pencils, so while I sat in english I drew this to illustrate my feeling:



Yeah, as you can tell I wasn't feeling all too great.

The day wasn't actually all that bad, as I made it through without any further incident, but I felt really dumb for going to school without any supplies and felt bad for having to bum some off friends. (Even if it wasn't much, I'll pay 'em back!)

Tomorrow I have no school, so I plan to just relax, try to burn off some of this stress and just chill tonight, before getting some work out of way tomorrow. (Also I get my paycheck, so that's good timing.)

Oh another reason I felt dumb is that I was supposed to call this number yesterday to see if I had jury duty, and it entirely slipped my mind, I was given jury duty but I was on "standby" meaning I had to call this number so I don't actually know if I was supposed to attend for jury duty today or not, but if I was supposed to, than I missed it.

I've been uncharacteristically clumsy about everything the last few weeks.

I can't sleep, and for most this afternoon I have had trouble shaking the feeling there is something amiss. I also forgot to stay behind and make up a quiz I missed after school yesterday (well, technically yesterday because of time constraints) and it's bumming me out. I hope it's not the only shot I had at it.

I'm going to be so tired tomorrow.

I also talked to a cool girl from my past recently! Though I haven't seen her since, I think this may be a bad sign for moi, but eh well, I haven't had the greatest of luck recently anyhow.

I am going to try to go to sleep now, I'm going to be soooooooo sleepy. (I blame everyone but me!)

Okay, so there is this thing I can't show yet, but I may be doing something with, that I'll explain further at a later date, but it's fun! So let's hope I have the energy and work ethic to get it done in a timely fashion, hehe.

Anyway today, or well yesterday now due to time constraints was a better day than I thought. My horrid Chem teacher didn't keep us long and we got out early, which was nice, as I wanted to get home in time to....


...okay so I've not done anything productive since getting home, but I'll do it all later today...and then do more nothing on sunday. I just need to recover from this past week, what with court dates, tests, and all this junk I almost missed. Not to mention not getting much sleep the whole way through, it's more exhausting than three hours of school a day need be.

Also, I wondering if a girl I know can take a joke....

...and I don't wanna find out the hard way.

Well we'll see how that turns out eventually won't we?